Friday, January 17, 2014

Please...Hear What I'm Not Saying

   Walking down the hall one day, I noticed white sheets of paper hanging around the hall, filled with writing. It wasn’t a regular flyer for an activity, or credit recovery; instead, it was a sort of essay, titled, “Please…Hear What I’m Not Saying.” I pulled it down and read it, and was immediately concerned.

   The writing spoke of someone who wore a mask, who spoke of confidence but inside was terrified of the emptiness they had created. It concluded that the author needed help, and that feeling wanted was the only thing that could save them.

   I was concerned not out of empty sympathy; it was the concern of knowing that someone else was going through something that I had felt, many times walking through my years at Carbon High. It echoed pieces of writing that I had typed out of desperation. I wanted to find the author, and I wanted to help them.

   I showed the piece to a few students, and their reactions were similar to what mine had been, but none of them had answers. I asked all knowing Mrs. Scoville and found where it came from, and we don’t need to be worried, but I am not going to reveal the source; the writing is more powerful when it is anonymous.  

   This piece is powerful because it draws from all of us. The page in that hall did not have a name because it doesn’t belong to a single person; it is the emotions of everyone.

 None of us are brave enough to say what is written in the “Hear What I’m Not Saying” piece because, when we bear our souls, we risk the chance of rejection. If we expose the real us, and are denied, then real pain sets in; the sort of pain that hurts worse than the secrets we keep bottled inside. The pain of knowing that we are alone and the hurt isn’t going to get any better.

   So, we wear this mask, and if someone denies the mask, that’s ok because we can change it. We can put on new clothes, and laugh at the right things, and listen to the right music to fit in; and then, once we stop fitting in, we just change it again so that we do.

   None of us are really ourselves in high school. We are all lost, and sometimes someone gets so lost, they start to think that lost is all they are. 

   So, we put on our designer jeans and do our homework for the next day and just continue our lives in all this confusion.

The confusion isn’t fair; it’s dark and all-consuming, and the confusion is why students are known to have so many problems. The confusion is the root of self-harm and eating disorders, among other teenage difficulties.

   So, we all need to begin to listen for the words that we aren’t saying because we are all broken, and as the wonderful poem I found states, “You have to help by holding out your hand, even when that’s the last thing I seem to want or need. Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care…I can make it.”

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Why Are We All Such Losers?

   Our society has created a generation of extremely lazy youth, or so the general consensus of the youth themselves goes.
   When questioned about laziness, each of the youth admitted that they themselves are “lazy,” sometimes at least.
   Participation in clubs and organizations is dropping, and it seems that an increasing number of young people see not caring as a reason for not trying.
   I do not believe that our youth are actually all failing though; I think we are just different. We are exposed to the world in a very different sort of way than the generations before us were. If we want to know something, we can get the information within seconds from the internet.
   We do not have to try to receive gratification; it is instantaneous, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s not that we are lazy; it is simply that we do not want to put forth more effort than we need to, it’s human nature.
   In the same way we use the internet to find things out, we use it to tell people about who we are. We have learned to treat ourselves like characters on a reality TV show, and social networking has allowed us to draw many parallels to just that. We post pictures and statuses about how interesting our lives are, and we receive followers according to how much other people like what we have to post. This is no different from the way that a celebrity receives fans, only on a much smaller scale.
   This doesn’t seem like such a horrible thing until we look inside our youth and past all the artificial status updates and exciting photos. The truth is that our youth are experiencing the same pressures, if not more, of every teen generation before them, but now they have to share that experience with the world and have to constantly be at their very best.
   This pressure to always be so perfect makes it easier for teens to claim that they, “don’t care,” or that they are “lazy,” because you aren’t as vulnerable from that position.
   When questioned, each of the teens answered that they still see education as an important part of their futures. So, it’s not that they are actually throwing away what they have; it’s just that they need something to hide behind in the jungle of high school, and claiming to not care and watching massive amounts of television gives them just that: It’s the equivalent to the 60’s rock n’ roll rebellion. Teens just need something to let them know that they’re okay, when media keeps telling them they aren’t good enough.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Girl Code

let's talk girl code

Recently I have been asked to spell out the "girl code" for one of my favorite guy friends, and knew right away it would be post worthy (if right away consists of sitting in front of my computer with some minor writers block).

So Chum, just for you here it is:

#1- If your friend cries over a boy, she has dibs. No ifs, ands, or buts, once tears have been shed it's over. The feelings she has for that boy will result in jealousy if you try to date him. Sisters before misters, that's just the way it is.

#2-If you say you won't tell anyone, your best friend does not count. She knows everything, that's why she's a BFF. That does not mean that she can go gallivanting around sharing things to other people, these things are still top secret, a best friend just makes them easier to handle.

#3- You are not allowed to diss on your friends boyfriend/boy toy, you may politely agree if she is dissing on him, but you yourself do not get to join in. She still likes him and you criticizing him is going to make her even more upset.

#4-You may not diss on your friends mom. Same rules apply, she still loves her mom and you have to listen to her complain, but your criticism is only going to result in her being upset with you.

#5-If your friends boyfriend is cheating on her, you have to tell her, even if she will be mad at you at first. In this instance rule #3 is voided.

#6-Every girl is only permitted one "love of her life" at a time. She can have other boyfriends/crushes, but "the one" has to be limited to one. She has dibs on all texting, hugs, and other cute gestures from this "love of her life".

#7-"Girls Night Out" is for girls only. No boys are to be invited. They can be texted though, we have to keep it interesting.

#8-If your best friend hates someone, you hate them to. You don't have to be rude to them, but you can't be hanging around them all the time either. Your best friends judgement should be important.

#9-If your best friend is doing the wrong thing, tell her! Even if it's going to sting a little. Odds are even if she blows you off, she's going to take into account what you said. Changing is hard, and so is admitting you're wrong, and people don't like to hear they need that, but sometimes it's a must.

#10- Never let a friend leave the house in something that isn't cute. Don't be rude, but don't let her embarrass herself either.

#11- Never buy an article of clothing knowing that another friend owns it. Don't take her fire, if she bought it first then she has dibs, find something else.

#12- Don't knowingly match outfits, it's weird. Plus it allows people to compare who looks better in it which is never a good thing for girls.

I'm sure there are tons of other rules to the complex girl code, but this is a good foundation. There will always be exceptions in certain instances, but for the most part, these rules must be lived by in order to be liked as a girl.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Where I've been

It's been awhile.

I could think of many good excuses about why I haven't posted such as:

1-My fingers were eaten by sharks and I couldn't type

2-My extremely communist government banned blogger for 3 months due to "security problems"

3-I got trapped in Russia and wasn't allowed to leave until now

4-I was hit in the head by a giant piece of hail in a hail storm, and became illiterate, unable to post anything.

5-I was so busy planking and coning I didn't have time to post. (so 2011)

6-I was so busy land sharking I didn't have time to post. Don't know what land shark is? It rocks, just google image it.

7-My computer system was hacked by genius chipmunks.

However, if I were to tell you any of these things,  it would be dishonest.

I could tell you that I've been too busy, but I hate it when people use that as an excuse. You're not too busy, you just don't want to. If you want to you would make time.

Cut and dry; I just haven't been motivated to post, and yes I have been a little bit busy and a little stressed sometimes, but stress is just a part of life, and I realized writing helps me deal with it.

I was talking to one of my best friends and she asked me when I was going to do something for me, and I got confused, I do all sorts of things for me! I'm and FCCLA state officer, and that's a blast - for ME, I get good grades so that I can go to college, I have a job so that I can put gas in MY car, everything I do is for me. In a sense I was right, I do things for me, but it wasn't until I sat down and wrote an oratory for my debate class that I realized what she meant by doing something for me.

Nobody else benefited from me writing my debate piece, if it was terrible it wouldn't have disappointed anyone nor would it have caused any problems for anyone. I wrote it and I wrote it and I wrote it well because I wanted to, because I love to write and it made me feel good.

The topic was how all teens are misunderstood. Which is something that I think our society ignores a lot more than it should, between our cliques and our designer jeans we judge each other, and don't usually bother to look past that. When you really get to know someone your perception changes.

Once I hit that save button on my frustrations about high school, I had a peace of mind that I hadn't felt in awhile.

I had just done something for myself, and it felt great.

I realized that I'm happiest when I set aside time to sit and write, and it was time to start blogging again.

We all need to have something that we do for ourselves, not just something we enjoy, but something that we love and that doesn't really affect much except for how you feel. Mine is writing, and yours might be painting your toes, or doing back-handsprings. What ever it is, find something that makes YOU feel like you!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

My Friend Makes Me Sick

I have this friend, who lives 5 hours away in the lamesauce state of Idaho. (I just don't dig the place, sorry if you do)

She always manages to make me sick; and no, she doesn't pass it to me, she's never sick, I just get sick from hanging around her I swear.

Like full blown, have to go to the doctor and have him give me some drugs sorta sick.

The first time it was just a really bad cold after a trip to Lagoon, then it was strep throat, and after hanging out with her today I have a headache and at 7:30 pm I'm already exausted and ready for bed.
on this day, the ginger gave me strep throat.
She didn't pass it to me, she never had it.
I still blame her.

Don't ask me how she does it, becuase only once has my sickness been mutal with hers.

Her name is Hayley, and shes a ginger.

I have come to the conclusion that she makes me sick my sucking out my soul, because as we all know gingers have no souls.

She just has to steal mine.

I guess I can learn to be okay with that.

(Also, don't ask this girl if she has bacon for breakfast, she's a vegitarian and I promise it will be awkward)

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

First World Problem of the Day

I have a serious problem here people.

I am no longer in possesion of a working smart phone, you can read why I don't here.

Which means, I don't have a camera 24/7, and let's face the reality of this situation, I'm too lazy to start carrying one around.

I'm sure your wondering, doesn't my phone have a camera?  Yes it does, but the pictures look terrible once they upload because it's like 2 megapixels.

I love to write, but I have been told no one wants to read something without pictures to look at. (I really don't understand, but I love to read)

Someday, when I have enough life savings to buy a new phone, my blog will be filled with lovely, edited photos, but my dear friends and followers, that day is not today and I apologize.

It's sad really how much our society, myself included, relies on smartphones. FCCLA nationals, I went to workshops on how to use those fancy little QR codes, but could I participate, nope because I don't have a smart phone.

I thought I had gotten over it at nationals, and then we had a Sunday School lesson using QR codes. A SUNDAY SCHOOL LESSON ON SMARTPHONE USAGE. The missionaries taught this lesson, missionaries can't even use cell phones for the 2 years they are serving missions. This just seemed odd to me.

Because I don't have a camera here is a picture of some cherries I found on the internet. I'm onto those of you who just look at my pictures, this will throw you off.

becuase who doesn't want to look at these
they're red and in a metal bowl.

Monday, July 30, 2012

I may be the world's worst driver, but I'm a liscenced one!

I'm the first to admit that I'm a terrible driver.

I usually learn things quite easily, school work is a breeze, straight A student; but you put me behind the wheel of a car and I become frustrated, and frustrated quickly.

Today, I took the test to see if I should be allowed to drive unsupervised, and guess what!

I passed!
Am I still the worlds worst driver? uhm yeah.

See you have to get above a -21 in order to pass.

Moi here, got a -20. That's like a D- on a test, I have never been so happy with a D-.

The teacher sat and told me how concerned he was about my driving skills, and how I could get seriously hurt if  I continue my driving habits, but I PASSED!

No more mooching rides, no more sitting at home bored, no more having to wait for my mom to go to Wal-Mart.

I am a free woman, a dangerous free woaman according to the instructor, but still a free woman.

Word to the wise, stay off the sidewalks :)